


Jitters

by TortiTabby



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, M/M, Nervousness, Stress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 13:50:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15366048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TortiTabby/pseuds/TortiTabby
Summary: Phil gets preshow jitters, only this time it's different.





	Jitters

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by an anon on tumblr! I hope you enjoy it.

Phil took a deep breath and tried to calm his racing heart.  
  
He never did get over the fear and anxiety of public speaking and performing in front of an audience, especially large ones. You would think after everything he would be used to it. Maybe for the most part he was but this time was different and the butterflies came back, along with the less cutesy weight in his chest and trembling in his fingers.  
This time he wouldn't walk out in front of the crowd with Dan by his side. He knew he would be fine and that he could do it, hell he couldn't think of anything he wanted to do more in that moment but it was still daunting.  
  
He smoothed out the end of his sleeves he had been crumpling up in anticipation.  
  
This was so different than what he was used to. Did it always take this long? Were people always waiting for what felt like a whole damn century?  
He could hear the quiet murmur of the people waiting to see him on the outside of the wall he was pressed up against. If he didn't have the wall at his back he wasn't sure he would be able to stay standing. Did he remember everything he was going to say? He had been rehearsing it for weeks but what if he froze?  
  
It was a dizzying sort of anxiety that coursed through Phil's veins and settled in his gut like angry bees. He had a miniscule breakfast this morning because he had been expecting this. He hoped he ate enough. What if it wasn't enough and he passed out? What if it was too much and he was sick? Would that go viral? Would he be a laughing stock?  
  
It didn't matter how much he planned for it he could still feel the sweat beading at his brow. He hoped he didn't look like a hot sweaty mess by the time he walked to the stage. It would be like grade school where everyone knew and every kid was blunt and tactless enough to call and point out how nervous Phil was, how his hands shook along with his bottom lip.  
  
That was a long time ago but being alone in the room made his mind race and wander to the dusty corners of his brain where anything that ever inconvenienced him laid in waiting, ready for his use, just to stress himself out.  
  
Below the panic he could feel a faint irritation at being left in the room all by himself even though he knew everyone was just triple checking that things were ready to go. This was normally when he would pull his phone out to text Dan.  
  
He couldn't do that today.  
  
He sighed and ran a hand through his quiff before quietly cursing himself.  
  
He didn't have time to get it redone so he hoped it didn't look too chaotic. Knowing his luck it somehow defied the laws of physics and was standing straight up or something equally embarrassing.  
  
The heaviness in his chest worsened and he wondered if he could do this.  
  
On paper and in his head? A million times over. Now that he was here he could only think of what could go wrong today.  
  
The list really was endless and at this point totally out of his hands and control.  
  
Maybe he could go check up on a few things and make sure there wasn't anything that needed fine tuned. Surely there was time for that?  
  
The light maple wood door creaked open.  
  
His older brother, donned in a suit of his own gave him a knowing look.  
  
“Going mad in here by yourself?” He asked knowingly.  
  
“Just going mad. What is taking so long?” Phil groaned.  
  
Martyn strolled over and squeezed Phil's shoulder.  
  
“Hey there was a lot to go over! It's all set now. You ready?” Phil let out a shaky exhale.  
  
“Dan's going to worry himself sick if we don't do this soon, Mate.” Martyn added with a chuckle.  
  
Warmth bloomed in Phil's chest, lifting the heaviness.  
  
Of course Dan was freaking out as well. It was foolish to think anything besides that. They worked better together, they always had. They were a team. Soon to be officially and on paper. It only made Phil want to get to him faster.  
  
“Ready to go get married to your best friend?” Phil felt his breath catch at that. He's really always been ready. It often wasn't the right time professionally with opportunities and obstacles in their careers but it was never a doubt in Phil's mind that this is where they would be in time. Officially on paper wasn't even a necessity for them. After all these years though, they deserved a damn celebration just for their relationship. Martyn was officially getting a new brother today, his mum a new son. He was getting a new set of parents and sibling to boot. It was a family that has existed for years but now there was no denying it.  
  
Sure, the crowd was still waiting for Phil- but so was Dan.  
  
He tried to harden his voice with determination but wasn't bothered when it came out soft and gentle.  
  
"Ready."

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr!  
> (Or perhaps send me prompts? I am open to write them for awhile) 
> 
> tumblr.com/blog/tortitabby


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